I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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