my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
