i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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