Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
