i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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