I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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