I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
