I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
