yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
