You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
