I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
