i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
