WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
