Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
