I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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