Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
