He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
