He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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