I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
