if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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