it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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