You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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