Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
