...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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