I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
