yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
