Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
