I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
