Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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