Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
God, you're like boner-b-gone
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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