Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
