my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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