So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
