9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
