2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
