How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
