we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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