so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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