I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
