Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
