Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
