lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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