Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
