I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
