U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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