Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
nutella sex= disaster
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
