You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
