I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
