I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
