Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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