i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I understand Curling. That high.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
