I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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